A Chance of Meeting
by Chiyon Shi
Summary: Pre-DGM. Who would've thought that a meeting between a Japanese traveller and a strange white-haired boy in England in 16th century could've changed the whole history we know this much? After all, they were never supposed to meet. KandaAllen.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own -man.

**Summary: **Pre-DGM. Who would've thought that a meeting between a Japanese traveller and a strange white-haired boy in England in 16th century could've changed the whole history we know this much? After all, they were never supposed to meet. Yullen.

**Pairings: **KandaAllen.

**Warnings: **Nothing more, but that there is some shounen-ai... And a nice Kanda mostly. Oh, and a weird, naive Allen.

* * *

We were never supposed to meet.

I am what people call cold and callous, the one without compassion. I am the coldest winter without mercy. A man of no heart. Even if my hair is the shade of deepest darkness, I am always the one people compare to ice. A devil I am called too. But I don't care. A being of darkness, a being of light… We are all only human. I know that, they might know too. I am only a traveller, searching for nothing and anything. I do not have the power over hell. But do people really understand that? It is actually quite amusing to notice how ignorant humans are if someone or something doesn't belong to their own little world… Prejudice is such a sin the humankind has perfected.

It is a dark night in England, I believe. Yet another country surrounded with the waters of ocean, just like my former home. I ride a lonely road across the forest on the back of my beautiful dark horse, my only companion for three years. Mugen, I call him; Six Illusions in other languages than my own. I am from country called Nihon, though I doubt these people even know what it means. A person from a country so far from here; I guess I shouldn't even wonder why some people decide that I am a devil without even actually getting to know me. Not that I would even let people in. That would only mean trouble…

That's what I thought, before meeting _him_.

I think it was a while after sundown when I decide that I would have to get some rest. The summer is only beginning, but it isn't even chilly… Quite mild, actually. Through my travels I have come to know the true meaning of cold and this really couldn't be compared to it. I start to search for a place to rest… I and my companion both need some. For long have we travelled, past many villages and even a slighty bigger town. Never once have we stopped, there has been no need for us. We are travellers and we know we are not welcome.

Not once I have felt like that after leaving the county I had been born.

I notice a smaller road that seems to start from the road I have been following. Letting my curiosity take over me, I decide to change my path and guide my mount to it. A while we ride, the path seems like it has not been used for a while. There are many plants growing on its both sides, long enough to hide it completely. I wonder how I noticed the path in the first place. The trees are trying to get me change my route, to tell that I shouldn't go forward. Even Mugen seems nervous about something, but he follows my lead like he trusts me to keep good care of him. I smile slightly, remembering his faith in me. It is something I am thankful for. We both have been loners before the two of us met and even after that… I left my country and was alone because of that while he was an outcast of his herd, a black horse amongst the chestnuts. No one ever cared for us… So we had to care for each other. He is the only one I've ever really cared for. And I'm glad that I met him.

Finally, we arrive to a small clearing. The thick forest surrounds it completely and hides it almost from the view. There is a pond near the right side of the square and for Mugen there is more than enough space to pasture. I smile and note that it is an idyllic place to stay.

That is when I notice a figure near the pond. He is carrying something, like a bucket for water, and determinedly walks towards the middle of the square. There I notice a small cottage and sigh. Of course the most peaceful and perfect spot for resting is already taken. Still, I am not going to find another place to stay, so I have to ask from the other person to let me stay for the night.

I slide down from Mugen's back and lead him to the cottage, where the person has disappeared. Politely, I knock on the closed door and wait for a reply. A while I wait, before I knock yet again. Still I do not get an answer and I am beginning to be annoyed by the fact. For the third time I raise my hand, but the door is wrenched open before I could do anything else.

I am now facing the most beautiful person I have ever met… And would ever meet. If I am called a devil, then he would be definitely called an angel. His snow-white hair is cut short, just the opposite from my midnight-black, long hair. He is shorter than I am… I think that the top of his head reaches my cheek, so he has to look up to me. That is when I see his eyes. They are the perfect pools of liquid silver, clearer than anything else and are more precious than all the jewels of the world.

He looks at me curiously, staring into my black eyes like a child. He looks young, despite his white hair. Maybe fifteen, definitely not an adult… But something in his eyes also tells me of the long eternity and it fascinates me. The eyes also hold a strange look of confusion and slight disbelief, but the emotions are quickly overridden when he speaks.

"Greetings, Mr. Traveller. How may I help you?" he asks and, once again, I am enchanted. His voice is as pure as the bells of heavens, greeting me and welcoming me to the forever of the world… I couldn't believe such a person lives under the same stars. I feel a feeling I could not describe even if I wanted to… I do not recognize it, but it fills my heart like the spring consumes the lonely winter.

For the first time in years, I feel content.

"I wanted to know if it's alright for me and my mount to stay in your clearing for the night. It is very late already and we have travelled for a long time. He needs his rest and I do not want my companion to suffer from walking in this darkness just because of me." I answer calmly, despite my inner daze. I just couldn't believe he is real. The boy in front of me smiles at me and makes my heart pound in a way I would've never thought it could beat. Not even when I was forced to defend myself in a battle and the adrenaline is wildly running in my veins, was it beating this fast. This boy… He is something else.

"Of course, Mr. Traveller. Would you like to use my humble cabin to rest? I have more than enough space and I would feel bad to know that there was someone else near me and I had not let them use my hospitality." I blink in surprise.

"Are you sure? I could be a thief, waiting to strike and flee." He just continues to smile in a mysterious way and replies:

"You aren't a person like that."

This startles me. How could an angel like him know that already? Everyone else is very wary about me because of my looks. The darker shade of my skin and almond-like dark eyes are always raising suspicion around and here is a boy who trusts me without a doubt. I speak my question out loud and the boy laughs at me.

"Your horse trusts you, master. Animals like him only start trusting people who treat them well and no good man would treat their companions badly. You might want to take him to the pond to drink or even let free. If your story is true, and I know it is, then he might want to pasture around this place. I can guarantee that this is safe territory." I nod and take off all the equipment on him, the saddle, bridles, everything. I wish for him to have a good rest before letting him go completely. Mugen wanders away immediately, but I know he wouldn't leave. He is a loyal horse and would never betray me in any way.

I know that… But how come that boy seems to know that too?

"Now, Mr. Traveller, shall you come in?" he offers and keeps his door open for me. I nod gratefully and walk in, the still unnamed boy closing the door behind me. The cabin is… Quite cosy, one could say. It is a bit bigger than it looks from outside. The room I have stepped in is filled with warmth that radiates from a fireplace. There are some stools and a table and there are some cloths too, to give some colour to the room and maybe some softness too… I also see two rough-looking doors on the other side of the room and a small gap, which I have no idea where it leads.

"Please, sit down." The boy politely offers and I do what he asked. The boy sits down too, to a chair across from me. The traces of confusion and surprise are now completely gone and the only one left is his smile. "Might I ask you your name, Mr. Traveller?"

"Kanda Yu." I answer and he stares at me for a while.

"It doesn't sound like a name folks give to their children in this area. Where have you come from, traveller? From somewhere abaft the great waters?" I nod.

"Nihon, we call the land. The Land of the Rising Sun, like it would be translated in your language. A far away it is from here, many seas and years away. It has taken me two years to get to your country through the ocean and land. One full year I have already been in your beautiful country."

"Three years of travels, I see. When on board, you had time to master our language, am I correct?" Again, I nod. The boy is more insightful than I have thought.

"You are correct. On my second journey on a ship, there was a teacher on board who had run away after a misunderstanding between him and his former master. He kindly took me under his wing and helped me to learn his language, even if he didn't understand a word of mine."

"What a sad person… He must have felt bad when he was forced to leave." I look at him with an inquiring look in my eyes. He has a pitying expression on his angelic face.

"He could have lied to me too, telling a tale and trying to cheat me out of my belongings. How are you so sure it wasn't his fault?" He looks at me again with that surprised look I had seen on him a few moments ago.

"But, Master Kanda, why should he have not told you a truth? You were both in the middle of hungry waters and there was no one but God to judge you, no appearance to keep up. You should not lie in front of God, wherever you are, because even if He forgives you, He will be disappointed in you."

"You believe in God, don't you?" I ask, though I already know the answer. He proves my guess correct by nodding and giving a bright and innocent smile.

"The God is a wonderful being, full of power and love. He is our Creator and Lord, so why shouldn't we prove our love to Him by believing in him?" I almost want to snort at that, but after he had so kindly let me stay, I just couldn't be rude to him. It isn't my nature to be spiteful to others who have shown me nothing but good will. Only those, who don't deserve my amity, are to be left with nothing but the vicious side of mine.

"Then why your God lets terrible things happen, like the wars or massacres? Why does He let the diseases run wild? Why does the innocent have to suffer?" I see the smile of his disappearing and he shakes his head in a sad way.

"It is the fault of humankind, Master Kanda. God loves us, tries to protect us, but He cannot do everything for us. We can only pray and maybe one day He'll let His divine judgment fall upon us and let us into the Sacred Paradise where He lives." He lifts himself up and walks to one of the rough doors, opening it.

"You can stay here for tonight, Master Kanda. I feel like you want to rest, after this long day." And right after he says those words, I notice that indeed, I am quite tired. I thank him and walk next to him.

"Can I have the name of the kind lord of this cottage?" The boy's eyes widen and he shakes his head fiercely.

"I am lord of nothing, Master Kanda. I do not own anything, so please, do not call me that."

"Ah, I'm sorry. What can I call you then?"

"You may call me by… Allen."

"Well then, Allen. You may call me by only Kanda too. After all, a traveller such as I do not own anything else but the clothes they wear and some food they have bought… And a sword too, in my case."

"If that is what you want, M- Kanda." He gives me another smile. "But go now; the night is short in the warm and bright summer… You might want to enjoy the darkness while you can."

"What about you?" I ask and he laughs at me. My heart jumps at the sound and the feeling from earlier bubbles within my chest with a slightly stronger beat.

"I don't need any sleep, Mr. Traveller. Now, rest."

And after that, I know nothing.

* * *

The morning comes fast, or so it seems to me. I open my eyes to find myself on a bed, so soft, that I almost don't believe it. I throw the blanket from over me and notice that I am dressed in soft, loose pants and a shirt too big for me. I do not remember much from last night, only my talk with Allen and… Then, suddenly, nothing. I wonder if he has dressed me in these after I lost my consciousness. Turning my head slightly, I notice my clothes on a stool next to the bed, all clean and neat. I quickly change, fold the clothes I had slept in, and leave the room, only to find that no one is inside the cabin.

Stepping out, I see the clearing in the glory of the morning. The rising sun gives a slightly reddish shade to the green trees and the grass is greener than ever. I see many kinds of flowers around and the pond is reflecting the glorious hues of the sun. Mugen is standing proudly a few feet from the spot I am and is looking closely on something in the direction of the sun. I turn my gaze to look and see the kind boy, standing in there and looking up at the sky. I could hear his voice; it seems as if he is singing. Before I could even move, his head falls and the sound is broken, the scene has ended. For the longest time he stays where he is, facing the ground. Only when the sun has finished its rising he lifts his head and turns towards me and Mugen.

To a confusion of mine, my mount bows his head. He has never shown this to anyone and now, he is showing deep respect to a stranger, who has let us stay within his home. I am even more intrigued by the boy called Allen than I have ever been with anyone.

"You have a wise companion, Kanda." The way my name rolls from his mouth makes me shiver. The bells of heaven are giving me their blessing... That is how I feel. His smile, though, doesn't match his voice that much… It is strained and filled with grief, as if something really important to him has been taken away, far away, from him.

"Thank you." I don't know what else I could say. The smile of his gets a bit brighter, trying to hide his sadness, but he isn't doing a very good job on it. It is like he isn't used to trying to hide something, were it an emotion or something else.

"You're welcome." Allen walks past me and enters the cabin. "Are you hungry?" he asks suddenly from me and I nod after I register what he even said. I have not eaten in a long time… Yesterday morning is probably the last time.

"I have some bread and just churned butter… Some berries and water too. Sorry, but no meat… I don't have any." He babbles and leads me to a chair before he continues to the other door. Opening it, I see a small glimpse of storage of different berries, bread, butter and other different things. There is a churn and some logs too. Allen takes some things from there and closes the door, placing what he has promised me on the table. He has also conjured a knife from somewhere too for the bread and butter. He then goes to get a wooden cup and fills it with water.

"Here you go." He smiles and gives me. The foods, even if very simple, smell very tasty to my nose. I quickly dig in, realizing how hungry I have really been, and the whole time Allen watches me with his small smile.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" I ask after a while, seeing that he has not taken anything. He shakes his head, eyes laughing at me.

"I don't have to eat, Kanda. I can manage without food."

"But how can that be?" I take a bite from the bread, waiting for an answer. He just gives a small giggle before lifting himself up.

"Guess." He says, winks mischievously and leaves me to eat alone. I finish soon after and not knowing what to do for the things left, I leave them at the table. We, or Allen, could put them away later.

I step out again and have to blink when the brightness of the day almost blinds me. I realize how dark it is in the cottage and how sunny on the outside… Maybe not as sunny as it could get, because the sun just rose a while ago, but still it is too bright for my taste. I find dark and dusky much more comfortable than brightness… But as my eyes find my mount, he seems to enjoy this weather more than I did. Peacefully he is there, staring lazily towards the pond while his ears move every once in a while, telling me that he isn't sleeping. I find myself enjoying the place too; it is more like a home than anything in my long journey. I am saddened by the fact that I would have to leave it soon… A traveller like I could not stay at one place for long. My chest aches and I unconsciously clutch it.

I feel like… I do not want to leave.

Like I would regret it if I did.

I see Allen standing near the water and find that it was him Mugen is watching. I think it is strange to see the kind boy so in his thoughts. He doesn't look up when I walk next to him, just continues to stare at his reflection on the surface. I turn my gaze to the image too, but do not see anything out of ordinary. My dark figure is standing tall and watching me back, giving me an eerie feeling… I wonder what it is until I realize…

My reflection is the only one there.

Allen is nowhere to be seen on the surface, yet he is standing there, right beside me. His face is sad as he stares at nothing, hand massaging his shoulder like there is something missing. The eyes which had once held such a happy expression earlier are more sorrowful than anything I have seen before. Even my own look has not been like that when my family was massacred and I had to leave my homeland in the fright of getting killed too.

"Y- You have no reflection…" I state, cursing myself mentally for stuttering. Allen is startled and he turns his silver eyes to stare up to mine. He gives me a sad smile and nods.

"I don't."

"Are you… Dead? A being not from this world? Is that why you won't need any sleep or food?" I ask in wonder, but the feeling within my chest disagrees with me, telling me how wrong I was. Soon, the boy shakes his head and sighs.

"You're only partly right… I'm not 'alive' in the real meaning of the word… But I'm not dead either. I'm something from the between of these two worlds… And sometimes, I wish I weren't…" he sighs again and looks at the place where his reflection should be. "Are you going to leave, dear traveller? Your restless soul must be calling to be on the road again."

To my surprise, I shake my head.

"I'll stay." He looks at me again and stares at me for a while.

"You shouldn't." He then states. His eyes bore into mine and I find my mind trying to shout me that I should leave and fast, leave and never look back.

"Why?" Instead of doing what my mind orders, I ask a simple question. Allen's eyes don't falter and I feel like something, a power greater than mine, is trying to get me to leave… But for some reason, I won't even budge. It is like that power can't do anything to me, like it is being directed away from me. Finally, the boy turns his eyes away and the power is lifted from my mind. Now I am truly wondering one thing:

Who are you, my kind Allen?

"You will regret it later, when you really do leave." That was all? He is so adamant that I would regret the time I spend with him? I place a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't think I will." I only answer to him and give him a reassuring look. He doesn't spare me another glance, just stares at his own feet, which I notice having no shoes. They were so small, like a little child's…

"You will… Because this place sucks away your whole essence. It was only meant to be for a being like I, not a human like you… Just leave, I beg you." I can't say that I am not surprised when I heard that, but my decision would not be changed.

"I'll stay." Then Allen looks up to me again and sighs.

"I cannot change a mind so unflinching. Very well, you shall stay here with me then… But I warn you, dear Kanda, eight nights from this moment and you will regret your decision. It is your fate if you don't leave now… I don't want you to be sad because of me."

"I know this like I was born with the knowledge: I won't. Already my heart feels more ease than ever after leaving my homeland, maybe even more than then. Please, let me stay. I feel like my place is here, with you." And I speak the truth. My heart really is longing to stay with him; I know that the ache would only continue if I leave his side. I couldn't leave even if I wanted to, but I feel like my days of travelling are over…

I know that I would spend the rest of my days within his small world, but I am content. I could do it, just like that is why I was born for… To meet him and stay with him. My chest is singing with the feeling I still couldn't recognize. But one thing I could identify:

I am happy.

* * *

This day ends without anything else happening. The only things I really remember from it are that Mugen looked at me with an unknown look in his brown eyes and he tried to spend as much time with me as he could for some reason. The three of us, Allen, I and Mugen stay up the whole night until I finally fall asleep on the green grass on then hill, Mugen lying beside me and Allen in my arms.

When I wake up the next day, I realize how cold I am. The morning sun is rising again and I stretch as I see Allen on the same spot as he was the other morning, singing again. I rise up and pat Mugen's side, but he doesn't move at all, not even his ears twitch. I frown and shake him a bit.

Nothing.

I call his name, but when I finally touch the chest of his, I realize two things:

He is cold… And his heart isn't moving.

I sit down again and just stare at my most loyal friend, who is now gone. The journeys we had experienced, the feelings we had felt… They are all lost. I wake up from my memories and thoughts when Allen sits beside me.

"I told you that you shouldn't have stayed here," he whispers as he strokes Mugen's dark mane lightly. When I stare at him an empty look in my eyes, he continues. "There is a barrier around this place… A barrier which keeps me from leaving. It is constantly eating my powers and that is why it is so strong… And so deadly. The rate it is eating the essence of the beings in it is huge, enormous. For me, it is only eating my power, but for you living… It is taking you your life force.

"You see what happened to your companion in two nights… One night and day takes a full decade of your life from you. He was supposed to die after two decades… But because he was here, he died in two nights, like a withering flower taken from the ground they belong to. That is why I said that you would regret your decision in eight nights… I suppose that your life would be over when you are over a century old…" his voice quiets down, but still he strokes the hair of Mugen. I think of his words and wonder… This place has taken me two decades of life and my loyal companion. It is cursed… I feel it. Cursed, or been blessed in a warped sense.

"You still have time… To leave. To leave this place and live your life to its fullest. Leave me behind and continue to walk forward, eventually forget… And die when you were supposed to, not this way, but as an old man with a family around you…" Allen's voice dies again and now he doesn't move anymore. He's hugging his knees and I can tell that he's regretting about letting me stay here.

"I don't want to forget." I find myself saying. "To leave and forget, I would kill my heart by doing that. I was searching for peace and home for three years… And now I have found it with happiness. Mugen was content too, to live his life with me. We were bound together… The only thing I regret right now is that I didn't let him go earlier, to let him decide what he wanted to do. But I am sure that he would've done the same as I did. To stay here, even if our lives were wasted.

"Because we finally could rest. Travelling is tiring and doing it for three years, never resting, keeping walking forward without looking back… We cannot do that for forever. We are only living and we tire easily, so we are always looking for a place to rest. And to us, it seems to be with your little world. If the price we have to pay is our essence, our life, then who are we to deny you from taking it?" Allen lays his eyes on my hand, which I am holding out. He doesn't have time to take it when I silently stroke his cheek lightly. His eyes show surprise, but in the deepest part of his heart, he is enjoying my company and this small caress. I could tell that, but I don't know how.

Maybe I am just hoping that it would be the case and that hope turns into a belief… But I had never been blinded by needless hope, a thing so vague. I am strong and I know it. Mugen had known it, my family had known it. Everyone, who I have proved wrong by surviving, knows it. Still, right now, it doesn't matter. Whether it is a lost hope or a burning knowledge, we are sitting beside each other and that is the truth. The three of us are all beings from other places…

Mugen, he is dead. He would never join me on our journeys or neigh when he feels like it.

I, Kanda Yu, the living one, whose days are limited.

Allen, someone from the between of nothing and everything.

That moment, it would never be again. Why, one might ask? Because the next moment, Mugen disappeared. The place, where he had been just now, is empty. I couldn't help but blink to in surprise and Allen opens his mouth to talk, wanting probably to end my mild distress.

I had still wanted to see my companion, even if it was just his cold and empty body without soul.

"The sun is up now," Allen says, looking up at the sky. "The rising has ended… So has another moment of this divine place and it has reverted back to its original state. Every time at this hour it happens… Everything goes back to its normal place and things that weren't there right when this place was created, goes back to where they were or throw out what weren't supposed to be… Only living beings are an exception. This place has no power over souls… But like with the food you have eaten, they now are back where they once were, filling the places you have made by your mortal hunger. Your mount has left this territory because of this arrangement; his empty body vanished by this barrier, his kind soul sent to the Land of God, the Sacred Paradise in the Heavens. Once it has been down here within humans, but long since it has been gone from this depraved place people call their home. His love couldn't take it… Adam and Eve were born there, but driven away because if the love of God. Cain and Abel's tragedy happened because of His love.

"Noah, the Saviour of humankind, was made to suffer from His love…" Allen fell into silence for a moment, his eyes glazed. I take him on my arms, but he doesn't even flinch at the contact, only rests his head on my shoulder.

"Noah, he was a sinner. He did everything God wanted, at first because of pure love, but then… He changed. Only a brief meeting with another man who had survived the Great Flood tainted his heart and broke it to many pieces, which he hid into people who were yet to born... That man was called the Man of Long Years. He was once a great achievement of God, His most favourable servant on the land under the Heavens. But he soon became disgusted with the ugly side of the human and left God's side to destroy His other creations… He is now wandering around this land, using that side he so hates as his advantage. He will be creating devious creators he will call akuma…"

"Akuma? That is a word from my homeland…" I state, but Allen doesn't hear me. I silently wonder how he knows all this… Could he be an angel, like I mistook him the first time I saw him?

"Beasts of destruction they will be, and they will be controlled by humans with the pieces of Noah's soul… Pleasure, Dream, Bond, Anger… Those will only be the start. Fourteen of them there will be, but the Fourteenth will betray the Man of Long Years and be killed, passing their powers to a Vessel of Time and Destruction. The one with the Pleasure will have two sides, dark and light, pure and tainted, and they cannot make a decision between the two. They will fall in love with a human of forty-nine identities, but they know they cannot leave their family. The Dreamer is the oldest of the Children born of Noah and they will control the space and the heart of weak. They will be cruel, they will be kind, and they will place their family before anything else. Bond will be one Child in two bodies, loving fun and each other, and Anger will be the first to go in the lines of loyal Children.

"This is the first part of God's prophesy that God has created… Other will come too, but the Man of Long Years should know the price of betrayal. Especially when the one he betrayed is the Almighty One with the power of creation…" Allen quiets down and I watch his eyes return to their normal shade of stars.

"How can you tell all that, so sure that it will happen and those people will be born?" I ask as he closes his eyes. A small, content smile passes his lips.

"They're the words of God… Every morning I hear His voice when I am singing for His glory and love. He tells me everything He knows and little by little I am filled with more knowledge than I could never process without His help. That is the future He is showing me, painting before my eyes… I am a part of all that, though He has yet to reveal what will become my part or why He has sent me here."

"You're here because of the God?"

"I am here because He expects me to understand something… But I do not know what He wants me to know. I have been here for the longest time… Years and years have passed by and here I am still, waiting for the moment when I will understand what He wants me to understand…"

"Did you say years? You must have been very lonely." But Allen shakes his head, still smiling.

"God is with me every moment… I do not know what loneliness is. I love Him." For some reason, I feel slight sadness when Allen says those words. I couldn't identify why it is like that, but I do… But I do. Allen flashes me a smile.

"Come, Kanda. I'll show you why I love this place so much."

* * *

Two days went by and I could feel my life slipping through my fingers. It is like a withering flower, like Allen had described it… Like a lotus flower from my old home, the one I had loved because of its beauty and purity. I feel empty… Years disappearing just in one day. I wonder how much of my life has already been devoured… I have been here for three whole days, so it equals thirty years… And when I had first come here, I had already been nearly twenty years old. Fifty years… If I am lucky, then I have five more days left…

Like five petals on a withering lotus flower…

This didn't mean that I haven't enjoyed my time here… Not at all. These days have been my life's happiest. For some reason, Allen makes me feel free and relaxed, more than I have ever felt… Even when my family was alive, I still didn't feel this content.

And I know Allen is happy too.

The young boy is always looking so bright nowadays… He still has those small moments when his eyes lose their focus and he starts talking about future, about the Man of Long Years and the people with pieces of Noah's soul. He has revealed many things, like about a woman who controls time and holds the true meaning of temporal within her hands. He has told me about a man with qualities of a bloodsucker and sharpest teeth one could ever dream to have. He has told me a sad tale about a girl who always runs as fast as she could for her life and her friends' lives… The girl from those tales is very gentle and her whole world consists of the people around her, especially another man, who gave up his freedom to be her salvation. That man is her brother and they would do anything for each other.

I feel close to the people in Allen's stories… Like I know them already in a way or would know someday. When I voiced my thoughts, Allen smiled and nodded his head… He agreed with me. This feeling binds us both, he told me and sighed. He told me that he wishes that he could meet those people already as he feels that his reason to ever being created lies within them…

I love listening to his voice when he tells me things. Every time Allen speaks, I feel warm… But unlike two days ago, I now know what that feeling is. I, Kanda Yu, have fallen in love. I have fallen in love with a being not from this world, but God's most favourite child. His white hair gives me an urge to want to slide my fingers through it, feel how smooth they are. His eyes make me want to smile and I do. His lips make me want to kiss them… Everyone I've ever met says that men loving men is wrong… Priests, women, men… Everyone.

They say that even God denies them and lets them fall to the eternal damnation.

I sigh. But Allen would not think of me like that, even if his God let him love another man. His whole life or existence revolves around God like there was no one else in this whole world. He is so devoted to his God and continues to sing for Him in every morning… I have yet to hear him as I always wake up when he finishes. I am a bit saddened by this fact as I would love to hear his voice when he sings. When I asked him if he could sing for me, he just shook his head and told me that his songs belonged only to God.

For the second time in my life, I resent God, the first time being the night my family was murdered. I hate him for taking all of Allen's attention and… I cannot help myself. I want him, I want Allen, but he cannot be my own. He can never be my own…

And for the first time in my life, I wish that God didn't exist.

* * *

"Kanda, are you bored?" Allen asks me one day. I look at him curiously.

"Why are you asking?" I ask him back, not wanting to mention that I might have been a little. His troubled look doesn't disappear.

"I was just wondering… You looked so engrossed in your thoughts that I couldn't help but wonder if you find me boring… And if you found me boring, you could still leave…" I find his words hurtful and I wonder if he doesn't want my company anymore… But I was wrong. He had closed his eyes, but his face holds an expression, which shows that he feared my answer. 'What if he says he wants to leave,' was written all over them. I chuckle and that sound makes him look at me again.

"You idiot, why would I want to leave?" I ask dryly. "You're out of your mind." His facial expression brightens immediately.

"Really?" he asks with eyes wide with happiness and I nod. He launches at me and we both fall to the ground. He's openly laughing, while I am protesting.

"Hey, watch out a little bit! I could get hurt!" I do not really mind him hugging me, but if I had fallen in a different angle, I could have hurt myself. It seems that Allen doesn't care, though.

"I'm sorry!" he apologizes with a big smile on his face and I find it impossible to even think of being angry with him. He's still laughing.

"Kono baka…" I mutter in Japanese. Right after that I notice that the laughter has stopped. When I look at Allen, the boy blinks and looks back at me curiosity evident in his eyes.

"What did you say, Kanda?" he tilts his head and frowns. Only then I realize that he wouldn't understand what I said and I smirk at him. He wears this very adorable confused expression that makes my heart beat faster.

"_I won't tell you._" I say in my native language and his frown deepens.

"Kanda, this isn't funny! What are you saying?"

"_Roses are red and violets are blue, while most poems rhyme, this one doesn't!_" The boy pouts as I laugh at his expression.

"You are mean…" I smile and stroke his cheek gently.

"_I love you._" I whisper and he looks at me for a moment before sighing.

"You're impossible, Kanda…" he shakes his head as he turns to look at the sky. I am still smiling when I copy his movement and stare at the perfect ocean of blue. Far in the sky I see a pair of birds, dancing together in the air. I can't help wishing that the two free flyers were I and Allen.

* * *

"Kanda," Allen calls me and I look at him. He's smiling again. His white hair is tossing around as he runs towards me and he looks ready to gasp for breath… Almost. But I know that even if he runs for a long while straight, he won't be breathless at all. In fact, I've noticed that he doesn't need to breathe at all.

He revealed to me earlier that since he wasn't really living, he didn't need to breathe… But at first he did it, so that I wouldn't feel so awkward around him. Since I decided to stay instead of leaving and found out about his lack of need to eat, he decided to stop pretending. Why should I only know about his eating habits, when he doesn't need to breathe either? I am glad that he is comfortable enough with me to reveal even this small information…

"What is it?" I ask as he reaches me. His face looks so bright, as if another world has opened to him. His silver eyes are looking like the most beautiful stars that reside in the night sky.

"I saw an animal, just outside this barrier! Come, come! It is right there!" he grabs my hand and drags me with him. We get nearer to the east side of the barrier and with each passing moment, Allen's face grows brighter. He's running even faster and I find it difficult to follow him, even if he's leading me by his hand. We finally reach the place he had been a few moments ago and his eyes searches for the animal that had caught his attention. He finally finds it and grins widely.

"Look, there it is!" he points a place few feet from us. I see a brown-furred rabbit, which is eating something that looks like a flower. It is bright yellow with small petals. I have no idea what kind flower it is, but I nod to confirm that I have seen it. He beams.

"Look at its funny ears! They're so long and it is listening to everything we are talking about! It's so small and cute and…" Allen almost squeals as the rabbit turns to look at us. I can see its whiskers moving as it examines if we are a danger to it. The boy beside me smiles and the animal resumes back to its food. Allen seems to radiate an aura, which can assure even an animal as wary as rabbit that he won't hurt them. "I wonder what it is called…"

"Have you not seen anything like it before?" I ask and he shakes his head.

"I haven't… It is so beautiful… As are all God's creations, but this one is so innocent, so harmless." He sighs in pure delight as the rabbit jumps to find a better place to eat.

"Why haven't you seen any rabbits before?"

"Oh, so they are called rabbits? So cute name for a cute animal as it is!" the boy giggles and the animal we are watching turns to look at us.

"Nothing usually comes close to this barrier… And it is a good thing, because if they come…" Allen's eyes widens as the rabbit starts taking small moves towards us, probably to suspecting to find more food near us. He quickly waves his hands to scare the animal, but it only tilts its head and continues.

"Don't come here!" the boy yells, but without any avail. The small rabbit jumps in through the barrier and looks for us for a moment. Allen's eyes start to water and he tries his hardest to shoo the rabbit away. The animal stares at him with its big, brown eyes and collapses. The shine is its eyes disappear slowly and dims completely. I hear a small sound coming out of Allen's mouth as he wails and I see tears coming out of his eyes.

"No…" he whispers and touches lightly the now dead animal. I close my eyes for a moment, wondering if I now had seen the barrier work like it should. I wonder if my life is being consumed like the small rabbit's life had been taken. I sigh and feel even older, though it cannot be seen from my looks. I would know if it did; my reflection in the pond would look older and my hair would have gray streaks on it.

I take Allen on my arms and carry him away from the dead animal. He clutches to me and I feel his sadness like it was my own… And I feel anger too.

Why does God have to torture this small angel-like boy like He does?

* * *

Yet another day arrives. Only four petals are left in my imaginary lotus. Yesterday, I kept Allen close to me… More closer than I ever did earlier. I held him close when he cried for the poor rabbit and how he had been indirectly the cause of it. I had told him that he wasn't the one of fault in any way, but he just shook his head and said that because this barrier was for him, others had to suffer.

I couldn't say anything to that, so I kept quiet.

Now I step out of the cabin again, where I had fallen asleep while holding Allen. I wonder why the sun isn't completely up yet, it has barely even started rising. I realize in a flash that Allen may not have gone through his morning rituals and turn my head. I see him walking to the place where he usually sings in. I quickly follow him, hoping that maybe I could finally hear his angelic voice. I'm thanking whoever is hearing right now for this opportunity.

Allen stops and turns his face towards the sky. He lets a small breeze caress his cheek before he reaches out for the sky and his lips part…

_Lo! He comes with clouds descending,  
once for favoured sinners slain;  
_

I blink as the words reach my ears. They aren't really words… They are like a melody that is coming out of his mouth that is somehow translated as words. I feel like these words are very crude, like they are really not made for this song. Only a bad translation…

_Thousand thousand saints attending,  
Swell the triumph of His train:_

I wonder if that melody is really a language they use in heaven… Like the hymns angels are supposed to sing for their God's glory. The sun is seemingly giving most of its rays for Allen… He looks so beautiful with that white hair glowing with light.

_Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!  
God appears on earth to reign! God appears on earth to reign!_

He quiets for a moment, like he's hearing someone talking. I remember his words, about God talking to him directly when he's singing. I understand that as I see his eyes losing their focus again. He sings again, but I cannot hear his voice or any words. He's just opening and closing his mouth or that's how it looks to me.

But I know that isn't the case.

The grass around him and this whole place is dancing with winds that do not blow. The trees are humming with a voice they do not own. Air is bright with colours it doesn't have… The whole nature is celebrating for a reason I don't know.

Is he singing the words God is saying?

Is he delivering His words?

I do not know… And I think I never will. This continues for a long while and the sun is rising higher… Soon I feel the air around here changing and Allen quiets down again. He's getting his focus back and starts singing again with those crude words I can understand.

_The dear tokens of His passion  
Still His dazzling body bears;  
_

The winds stop, the celebrations cease… I can hear little birds singing on the other side of the barrier. I'm glad that they won't come in; otherwise I fear that Allen might get sad again.

I don't want to see him like that ever again.

_Cause of endless exaltation  
To His ransomed worshippers;  
_

I blink suddenly. I am seeing a vision, I know it… And I am shocked about what I see. Allen is wearing a white cloak-like cloth, which has a metallic mask implanted to it. It is long, very long and is floating around in a strange way… Like the cloth has a mind of its own. Allen's hair is spiked on the back and it looks longer…

His right hand is covered with the same-looking cloth as his cloak and looks a bit pleasant, but his left hand is the strangest of them all. It is a mix of black and metal with very long blade-like fingers, though one couldn't really call them fingers. They look absolutely sharp and I definitely wouldn't want to be the one who he directs those edges. I see also a flash of a very big sword, two-handed one, but it soon disappears…

As does the vision, bit by bit, but not before a haunting monocle and his black and red eye gives me a glance… I see a red line on his face too and somehow it reminds me of a curse… And Allen smiles.

He disappears.

_With what rapture, with what rapture, with what rapture  
Gaze we on those glorious scars! Gaze we on those glorious scars!_

The last words reach my ears and I look at Allen. Not once has he seen me and for a while he only stands without any movement. I smile and walk next to him. When I place my hand on his shoulder, he almost jumps and looks at me quickly. For some reason, his face reddens and he looks away, just as fast.

"What did God say to you today?" I ask and I suspected that another loving smile would appear on Allen's face. It didn't. Only a slightly embarrassed expression took over his red face.

"He, um, He told me that I am closer to finding that reason why I am here than ever before." I nod and give him another smile. He still won't look at me and I have to wonder why.

"That's good, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is… I am finally seeing God's reasoning."

"Can you tell me?" Allen looks hesitating.

"…Yes." He says, but won't elaborate. I motion him to continue, but he just glances at me and blushes brighter. I really don't understand… What could the thing God wanted him to understand is?

"Are you hungry?" He suddenly asks as if he just realized what time is it. "Oh my, I haven't given you any breakfast! Come, Yu, I must give you something to eat! I don't want you to starve!" He takes my hand and leads me back to the cabin. Only when I sit down and start eating while Allen is talking to me about different things, I realize one thing that makes me smile…

He called me by my first name.

* * *

"Are there any fish in that pond?" I ask on the day when the sixth imaginary petal will fall. Allen smiles at me and shakes his head.

"I don't think so… Why are you asking?"

"Eating only bread and berries as breakfast and dinner is getting to me… When I and Mugen were travelling, I ate at least once a day some meat. Fish, chicken, beef, anything really. Even snake. When well done, snakes are quite delicious. Even frogs… They actually taste like chicken."

"I can't believe you are saying those things…" Allen had a downright disgusted expression. "You eat meat? You kill animals? That's… That's wrong!"

"It's not wrong, it's life. And I want meat."

"No… Just no!"

"I have killed humans too."

"That's right, you… What?" His eyes widen in shock. "You are not serious, are you? Please, tell me what you said isn't true…"

"It is…" I state straightforwardly as I look into his deep eyes. "I haven't killed that many, but I still have. Only as self-defence, though, killing disgusts me. I have hated killing since my family was massacred."

"They… They are dead?" Allen asks unsurely and I nod. He falls into a silence and I with him. We stay like that for a while… For a long while. When I finally think that he has fallen asleep or forgotten what we had been talking about, I hear him. Or not really hear him, but see his lips moving, in a way that could mean that he's talking to himself. I do not dare to interrupt him since I see that unfocused expression of his.

When he finally returns to this world, he turns to me and smiles with both happiness and sadness.

"Your family is happily living in the Sacred Paradise, Yu… God told me so. They are glad that you're alright and alive and are sorry that they weren't aware of the threat of their murderers… They are sorry for leaving you alone." I stare at his speechlessly. My… My family got into heaven? I feel relief overwhelm me as one of my life's biggest questions is answered.

They are safe.

"Oh, and God forgives you for killing those animals and eating them. He says that that sin already so world-wide that it cannot be considered a sin anymore. Actually, He said that it stopped being a sin since Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden of Eden. But you still have to plead for His forgiveness for killing those people yourself… He says that you should 'undergo some suffering' for killing them, but I didn't really understand his meaning… And that you should've let those, uh, 'harlots' go. What does a 'harlot' even mean?" he then proceeds to ask me while I gape at him.

Either God has a strange sense of humour or he's a sadist.

I don't want to know which of them is true.

* * *

One imaginary petal. One day. A petal and a day…

That's all that goes around my head. Only one day and my life will be consumed completely. Only one day with Allen. Only one day…

I lift myself from the bed for the last time and see the breakfast on the table already… And eat for the last time. I and Allen… If he wasn't who he is, I think I would've just taken him with me and left with him, leaving everything behind. I love him, but he loves Him.

It's not fair.

I sigh as I walk outside and see Allen already waiting for me. He smiles sadly at me and, to my surprise, runs and gives me a hug. I answer it by wrapping an arm around him. I want to kiss him, I want to do many things to and with him, but I can't. This saddens me more than anything, even more than that my life is almost over.

Allen never told me, what God wanted him to understand. Every time I bring it up, he blushes red and looks down. When I ask what is wrong, he just shakes his head and says that everything is alright. I believe him, but I am still curious. He lets me go and smiles gently.

"Good morning, Yu." He uses my first name again, which brings a small smile on my lips.

"Good morning, Allen." I answer quietly. He frowns as we sit down on the grass, dark clouds in front of the sun. For the first time I see clouds after I entered this barrier and met Allen. Probably for the first and last time. I hold him close to me and bury my head to his shoulder. He looks surprised, but gently lets his hand wrap around me in similar fashion as I did to him a moment earlier. He continues to hold me for the longest time…

We both feel as the first drops of water falls to the ground and on us. Only a few at first, then many more until I cannot even count the amount that falls upon us. The sky is weeping, I realize. I do not know whose tears are falling… But they are many and ice-cold, so the crier has to be sad.

We sit for a long time, both of us are soaking. It is strange… Even if I feel the wetness of the weather and my skin and clothes, I notice with my eyes that I am completely dry. I look at Allen and see that he is too. The barrier must be the reason, I think and voice this thought. Allen nods.

"No being within this barrier can be moist as no rain can enter this place. The weather outside cannot affect in here, so here is supposed to be eternal sun and glory." He tells me and I listen to his voice. It is gentle and soft, very comforting. "But it is only because of its resident was happy and without any clouds in their heart. Now their heart is full of sadness and misery, making the conditions within the barrier unstable. It is a sad, sad thing… These emotions of theirs have never been this divided…"

"Why are you this sad then, Allen?" I ask and make him flinch. His cloudy eyes look at me and immediately I feel responsible. I suddenly know that only I am the possible one to cause this to him. I feel distress, because I only wanted him happiness and my give him my love… I never wanted him to suffer because of me.

"Because of many things, Yu… Because of you, because of my heart…" he admits quietly. His hold of me tightens. "I am sad that I am causing you to suffer like this… I am causing you to die. You stayed here for me, I know that, and because of that decision, you will die today. My heart... It is aching. Even my love for God cannot help me now... Another feeling has made its way to this small place.

"I feel like I have betrayed my God... That I am sinning against Him. He is so kind and understanding, but I cannot help myself. My heart has been taken by this feeling and I do not know what to do..."

"What is that feeling?" I look deeply into his eyes. "I wish to help you, since it is my fault. This feeling that makes you feeling this way... Can I help you with it?" he shakes his head.

"You cannot and I wouldn't want you to. Even if God is encouraging this feeling, it is still making me unsure... Unsure, but happy. Yu, you have made me happier than anyone or anything has made me besides my Lord." He smiles. "With His merciful help, he has helped me to identify this feeling and with his permission, I will tell you if you let me."

"There is nothing to be let, Allen. If you want to tell me, then I will gladly hear your words from your heart." The boy's smile brightens and he bends his head down a bit, so that we can see each other's eyes without anything in our way. Only then I notice that only a few drops are falling down, the hardest rain has stopped.

"I love you." He whispers and his silver eyes flash with the same warmth as when he is talking about Him. My own heart flutters and I cannot believe what I am hearing. I cannot believe that his heart holds the same feeling as mine does. Allen's eyes look so warm, so loving that I feel like I can break any moment now. I answer to his smile that has appeared on his face as I state what I feel for him out loud.

"I love you too..." I whisper back and move forward, just as the sun rays bursts through the clouds and lightens the whole area by its shine and Allen's warm feelings. Allen, even if feeling happy, looks slightly clueless about what I will be doing and tilts his head a bit. I brush my lips softly on his and his eyes widen is shock. The pressure that my lips are making is as light as a feather and I pull away soon. As soon as I do, his hand moves to his lips.

"What... What was that?" he asks me as a small blush finds its way to his face. I think he looks adorable.

"That is called a kiss... And a kiss symbolises love." I answer with a smile tugging on my lips. Allen blinks before nodding.

"Oh... Then you do that with the ones you love?"

"Yes," I answer, definitely not expecting the swarm of kisses I was bound to get. Not that I mind, they were such a lovely little butterfly kisses. When Allen pulls away, he giggles quite cutely.

"I have never done that to God... Never." He admits and giggles some more. "You are the first person to ever get a kiss from me." I digest the information, but one thing makes me frown. When Allen asks me, what's wrong, I ask him a question back.

"So you have met Him?" Allen nods.

"I have... He's very beautiful and wonderful being... So full of love and kindness. Just like the Sacred Paradise he rules over, that place is full of joy... I lived there before God sent me here." He smiles. "I love him very much... Like I do you, Yu."

"Thank you." I don't know why I am thanking him, but I feel like I should. My eyes, I'm losing my focus. Things start to get a little blurry... I blink and it disappears.

I wonder why that happened.

"There is no reason for you to be thanking me..." He whispers and hugs me close again. I don't mind in the least and hold him close too. The sun is bright, but I still see the clouds lingering around. Allen's heart still isn't peaceful enough for them to go away.

There, I see things blurry again, but this time when I blink, it won't disappear. I blink harder and it clears for a moment before I momentarily lose my sight. I gasp slightly as the light comes back and Allen looks at me worriedly.

"Yu? Is something wrong?" he asks as I move my hand in front of my eyes.

I don't see at all.

"I... I cannot see..." I state before my breath is taken away. I cough and can feel something wet touching my hand. I hear a gasp from beside me.

"B- Blood..." I hear a terrified voice. "Blood... Blood blood blood! Blood!" Allen's voice repeats the same word over and over again. I cough again. More wetness.

"No... You're dying, Yu... Yu..." Allen is panicking like he did when the rabbit died. I want to tell him to calm down, but I can't get my voice to work. I can feel him letting me go and placing me to lie on the ground on my side, so that I could rest, but not choke on the blood if I have to cough again. I hear some mumbled words as Allen panics, but then I feel him taking a deep breath so that he could calm down.

I can hear him starting to pray.

The air around him changes immediately. Winds are blowing without really blowing and I can sense the brightness, even if I cannot see. I cough again, so I won't be able to hear all the things he says.

But now... All of my breath is taken away. I feel... Content in a way. This feeling could be portrayed as the first spring day after a long dark winter. I am floating...

Is this what it feels to be dead? If it is, then that barrier made me die with a really nice way; no pain, no waiting... A quick strike like I was killed by a swordsman... With dignity.

"Please!" I hear Allen begging somewhere distantly. "Save him! I cannot watch him die!"

I cannot hear if someone answered him, but when Allen continues, I am sure that someone did.

"I learned what I had to... I know that my days in here are over... But please, God, do not take him away from me! I understand now why you love humans... I have learned to love them too, but this man means me a lot more! This is the first time I have ever wanted to be selfish... I am grateful for your love and I love you too, but this man has taken a part of me too... I- I cannot think of a life without him anymore..." Allen's voice quiets down for a moment and I hear a small sobbing sound before he continues.

"Please God... Save him..."

The next thing that happens almost makes me deaf... A loud sound, a voice like an explosion but softer and soothing and it doesn't hurt, covers my ears and I can still hear very clearly what happens... I can picture it in my mind...

It is like my hearing has become my sight.

_Kanda Yu._ The voice reaches my ears. _You are supposed to step into my Land... But before you can, you need a trial. You are a sinner, Kanda Yu. Do you plead guilty of thirteen murders of humans I have created?_

The one who was talking... Is God.

"I... I do..." I stammer, not quite grasping how huge thing I am experiencing... Even if Allen has made me to believe in God with all of his tales about Him, I cannot believe that I am talking with him myself.

_Do you plead guilty of getting love from my Child more than as another person in human species I have created?_ I remember Allen's words and I answer truthfully.

"I do."

_Do you plead guilty of loving my Child, even when you knew that you could never be together with him?_

"I do."

_Do you wish to continue your journey to eternal rest as the last member of Kanda clan of Nihon or do you wish to answer my Child's plea and stay together with him?_

My breath is taken away. To meet my family or to stay with Allen?

The answer is easy.

"I wish to stay with your Child." My family will understand.

_Is that your wish?_

"It is, God."

_Do you understand what you are really asking, Kanda Yu? You are dead... You died a few moments ago. My Child is a soul yet to be born... He is only learning about what it means to be my Chosen One. I sent him to Earth to learn to love humankind and that world so that he would not turn like my last Child, the Man of Long Years. I have chosen him to defeat and bring salvation for the man who didn't understand my true plans and the Children born with pieces of Noah's memory. If you wish to be with him, even knowing these truths, do you understand how much you both will suffer because of this decision?_

_Do you wish to change your plea?_

"No, my Lord..." I whisper. "Even knowing these facts, it doesn't change the yearning that resides within my heart. I may be a dead soul; he may be a soul yet to born... But I love him and wish to be with him. He is my salvation, more than your Sacred Paradise could ever be to me."

_My Child, do you still wish to be bound to this dead man?_ God's voice turns back to Allen, who nods with tears in his eyes... I can hear it from his voice.

"Yes, my Lord. I have already complicated your great plans by falling in mortal love with this man, but I cannot help but to be selfish... You have created me to be a soul of your Chosen One, a human who will bring salvation for this world, and with these human emotions, I have become a sinner, just like Adam and Eve became in the early days. My own salvation is now lying in Kanda Yu's hands as well as yours...

"Please, I beg you my Lord... Let me be with him."

_You have both plead for salvation that you have become for each other... Very well. Hear my decision you two and my angels and all the souls within my Paradise._ I could feel the attention the souls and angels give to Him... He's the ultimate power of this world... He is the strongest, yet he cannot control the living. Only to protect is his job, protect and create and let the dead rest in the Paradise.

_My Child is to be born as who he was supposed to be and becomes who he was supposed to be; the 14__th__ Child of Noah's memories' host and 14__th__'s brother's adopted son. You will carry on your destiny like you were supposed to be..._

_You will become Allen Walker._

_Kanda Yu, you will not be reborn._ I feel a bang in my heart... Was the God going to be as cruel as not to let me be with Allen? But I am wrong, as he continues.

_The thirteen men you killed were sinners like you... And you will be the one to carry their and your own sins. You will be sent to the same time my Child will be born and become a fighter alongside him. You will be given a flower to signify our agreement... A flower of lotus. Each of its thirteen petals represent the sins of the men and it will have a special skill to heal even the deepest wounds. When each petal falls, a man is freed to step into my Paradise and your wounds will be healed... And when all petals have fallen, then you will become a mortal again and our agreement will be broken..._

_But there is a price. The healing will take your own life force as a payment. Another sign of this agreement is a mark of mine that will grow every time you use your life force. When your life force is taken and you turn into a mere mortal again, you will die immediately and fall into eternal damnation and my Paradise will close its gates from you._

"Is there any way for me to survive without being damned for eternity?" I ask after a silence. I can feel that Allen is shocked and could not talk. We both know that these demands are hard, but I am willing to go them through if I can be with Allen.

_There is. You will only have to find my Child in his born form that you can partly see already... There will occur an event that makes him change into what he is now and even more. But... There will be a twist._ I and Allen both stiffen. What else could be here?

_You both will lose your memories._

"What?" I and Allen ask at the same time, but only I continue. "How am I supposed to find him then, God?"

_That is for you to find out, but remember, memories can never been completely wipe from someone's mind. Their subconscious will always remember everything, record every moment of their lives. I give you a hint... A name is person's everything._ God cryptically says before I start to glow... I can sense it, even if I still cannot see.

_Now it is your time to go, Kanda Yu. I wish you safe travel with Mugen._

I was just about to ask him about how my former mount relates to this, when I suddenly feel dizzy... I hear Allen calling to me, but I cannot answer; the pulling feeling is too strong and I feel being pulled to somewhere unknown.

After that, I know nothing.

* * *

I wake up in Japan to yet another morning. I blink as I notice the sun... It is so bright. I turn my head and see an old man beside me, drawing something. I clutch a sword to my chest as well as an hourglass which holds a lotus flower inside it. These two have always been with me, at least as long as I remember...

"Who are you, old man?" I ask rudely. I definitely won't be nice to an old man like him. He turns to me from his drawing before smiling.

"My name is Froi Tiedoll, young man... May I ask you your name and how come you can speak English so well? You look barely ten years old!" I stare at him for a while. I have no idea how I know this language... But I do. When the old man tries to reach to me, I scowl.

"The name's Kanda Yu, idiot and _don't you dare to touch me_ or I'll stuck my Mugen to your arse. And no, I won't answer to your other question." Tiedoll's smile doesn't disappear, even if I try my best to be rude. He's interrupting my search of that one person...

It is strange... I have no memories from my past. I just suddenly woke up one day when I was eight and had this really strong urge to find someone. I know that I do not have any family, they have been murdered, but I do not remember them at all.

The only thing I do is that I have to find that one person.

"Mugen... Ah, you Innocence." The man nods and smiles even wider. I narrow my eyes. What the heck is Innocence? "Would you like to become an exorcist, my boy?"

"No." I bluntly state before rising up, a bit wobblingly. Yesterday, I had fought these strange things with Mugen when I got hurt badly. Right after that the old man came and saved my arse... I won't thank him at all.

"You shouldn't stand up so quickly, Yu-kun." I snarl.

"Do not call me by my first name ever again, you old man." Only that one person is allowed to do that. I glance accidentally the lotus and notice a fallen petal. It is the first fallen one. I suddenly know what the lotus can do, I know about the healing effect and that I'll die if all of the petals fall and I haven't found that one person... I have to find them. "And it doesn't matter, I am completely healed. Now, if you excuse me, I have to find someone."

"Who might that be?" he asks me and I shrug.

"I don't know. I just have to find them first." I walk away, but he follows me soon after. I glare at him. "Why are you following me?"

"Well, I cannot let Innocent or an accommodator out of my eyes when I meet one, Yu-kun." I snarl again. "And I might be some help when you try to find 'that person'." I turn to him quickly.

"How?" He smiles.

"The organization I work at, Black Order, is known for its connections. We can help you find that person much faster and easier if you join us."

"Why me?" I ask suspiciously. It's not every day a stranger is this helpful. I tighten my grip on Mugen and my hourglass. This old man is better to be speaking the truth or...

"Now, let me start from the beginning... Innocence is a God's creation..."

* * *

_Years later..._

"Oi, Moyashi. Get going or I'll leave you behind."

"BaKanda! Why do you have to walk so fast?! And it is Allen, A-L-L-E-N! Is it that hard for you to say?! And _why_ am I a bean sprout?!" the brat asks from me and we start yet another bicker. I snarl at the Finders when they look like they were going to laugh at us.

"Che. I don't have a need to call you by your name, idiot." I state at last when he asks that one question again, ending our bicker, but for some reason, I feel like my heart is disagreeing. I ignore it and imagine about finding that one person... And what I would do after that.

Only ten petals in the lotus left.

* * *

First of all, I want to say that even if Allen has this strong belief in god, it doesn't mean that I am like him. Period. I don't want to talk about my faith at all, so we'll leave this subject completely... Okay?

I don't have much to say... The idea for this fic came suddenly and I just started to write... And I got it finished today. I thank you if you read this monster completely... I wonder what you people think of this fic... It is so different from what I've read myself. Heck, it's totally different from my _Wag your tail, you're a human now!_ That story is made for humor and romance while in this I tried another, deeper view on the whole series.

A question this fanfiction is built around could be "what if this all really wasn't meant to be" or "how a coincidence can change everything". What if Kanda really wasn't meant to be in DGM series, but lived in the 16th century instead of 19th? Allen, as you saw, was always meant to be born in 19th, he was just being "trained" to be able to stop Earl. By god, for god's sake (sounds stupid, doesn't it?). If Allen seems too "obsessed" with god, then remember that he knew he had been created by him and that he was made to serve him... As well as the god talked with him.

I am now leaving, I need my sleep... It's night here already --yawns--.

Oh, and a new chapter of _Wags_ is going to be started on Wednesday, since the last exam is then. On Thursday, I only have an essay in music, so I don't have to study for it.

I hope you enjoyed this,

Chiyon Shi.


End file.
